Dodgy Scams Special Report
By Quentin Thrustbucket, March 1st, 2025
Dodgy Scams Stands With Zelensky – The Scrote Party’s Treachery Exposed!
Fellow scam-watchers, truth-seekers, and lovers of international drama, Dodgy Scams is here once again to shine a light on the biggest con jobs of our time. And today, we turn our ever-vigilant gaze toward one of the most shocking diplomatic ambushes in modern history—the betrayal of President Volodymyr Zelensky by none other than Trump, J.D. Vance, and the rest of the treacherous Scrote Party.
THE AMBUSH AT FREEDOM SUMMIT: WHEN SCOUNDRELS STRUCK
It all began last Friday, when Zelensky arrived in Washington, D.C., expecting a straightforward meeting with U.S. officials to discuss ongoing aid to Ukraine. What he didn’t expect was a sneak attack from Trump, J.D. Vance, and their band of merry Scrotes, who were lurking in the shadows, waiting to pounce.
Eyewitnesses say Trump stormed into the meeting wearing his signature red tie and an expression of unearned confidence, flanked by Vance, who was muttering something about “making Ukraine great again” while waving an unidentifiable map of Eastern Europe.
What followed was a scene that can only be described as pure political slapstick:
- Zelensky calmly explained why Ukraine needed continued military and humanitarian support.
- Trump responded by offering him a “fantastic” new peace deal—one that included Ukraine surrendering all territories, replacing its flag with a MAGA banner, and adopting “God Bless America” as its national anthem.
- J.D. Vance tried to gift Zelensky a Bible and a signed copy of “The Art of the Deal.”
- Matt Gaetz chimed in to ask whether Zelensky had ever considered turning Kyiv into “a great location for luxury golf resorts.”
Realizing he was getting nowhere, Zelensky left the meeting shaking his head, while Trump triumphantly declared, “That went tremendously. Ukraine will be thanking me soon.”
THE WORLD TAKES SIDES: TEAM ZELENSKY vs. TEAM SCROTE
As expected, this diplomatic catastrophe sent shockwaves across the world, dividing nations into two distinct camps:
COUNTRIES SUPPORTING ZELENSKY:
✅ United Kingdom – Rishi Sunak, Is he still the prime Minister?, desperate for relevance, declared, “Ukraine is our dearest ally, and we will continue supporting them—provided we can afford it after our latest austerity budget.”
✅ France – Macron, in typical fashion, made an elegant speech about democracy, human rights, and “the glorious duty of France to stand with the oppressed”, before promptly taking a three-hour lunch break.
✅ Germany – After checking with its energy suppliers in Russia, Germany hesitated, but ultimately pledged “strong words of support and possibly some funding, maybe, if we really have to.”
✅ Canada – Trudeau reaffirmed his commitment to Ukraine, stating, “We will stand by Zelensky no matter what. Also, look at my cool socks!”
✅ Japan – Offered economic aid and moral support, while subtly reminding the world that they, too, have serious issues with certain large, aggressive neighbours.
✅ Australia – Declared support for Ukraine but insisted that all aid must be delivered in the form of kangaroo-mounted supply convoys.
✅ Poland & The Baltic States – Went into full “we told you so” mode, warning everyone that this was exactly what they had been afraid of since 1945.
COUNTRIES SUPPORTING TRUMP & THE SCROTE PARTY:
❌ Hungary – Viktor Orbán, while busy printing Putin fan club membership cards, enthusiastically backed Trump and offered to host a future Scrote Party summit in Budapest.
❌ Russia – Putin, upon hearing the news, laughed so hard that he nearly fell off his throne, before sending Trump a box of “Thanks for the help” vodka.
❌ North Korea – Kim Jong Un sent Trump a letter praising his foreign policy genius, which, according to experts, was actually just a copy-paste of the love letters Trump and Kim exchanged back in 2018.
❌ Saudi Arabia – Publicly claimed neutrality, but privately texted Trump: “Bro, let’s talk oil deals soon.”
❌ Brazil (Sort Of) – Bolsonaro, still living in Trump exile mode, tweeted, “MAGA and Brazil together, forever!”, before quickly deleting the post after remembering that he no longer runs Brazil.
THE AFTERMATH: SCORES SETTLED, SCROTES HUMILIATED
As the dust settled, Zelensky returned to Ukraine, refusing to comment on whether he plans to send a strongly worded letter, a diplomatic protest, or just a sarcastic GIF in response to Trump’s nonsense.
Meanwhile, Trump and Vance declared the meeting a “huge win,” with Vance awkwardly fist-pumping while Trump yelled something about Nobel Prizes.
However, their moment of glory was short-lived.
Shortly after the meeting, the Scrote Party received an official email from the Nigerian government, offering a $50 billion investment into their political movement.
In what can only be described as the final humiliation, J.D. Vance immediately clicked the link, sent over all his banking details, and is now wondering why his personal funds have mysteriously disappeared.
FINAL THOUGHTS: DODGY SCAMS WILL ALWAYS STAND AGAINST SCOUNDRELS
At Dodgy Scams, we have seen some serious cons over the years.
But even by Scrote Party standards, this one takes the cake.
We stand with Zelensky, democracy, and the noble fight against fraudsters—whether they’re Nigerian princes or ex-presidents who somehow still think they’re in charge.
Stay vigilant, dear readers. The Scrote Party is out there, and they’re coming for your bank details next.
Quentin Thrustbucket, signing off.
