BREAKING NEWS: NORTH KOREA OFFERS DONALD TRUMP THE POSITION OF “SUPREME DEAR LEADER”
Pyongyang, February 24, 2025
In a shocking turn of events that no one (except maybe Trump himself) saw coming, North Korea has officially extended an invitation to Donald J. Trump to become their next “Dear Leader.”
According to leaked government documents, Kim Jong Un, exhausted from years of running the world’s most secretive regime, has decided it’s time for a vacation. His solution? Hand over power to the one man who loves walls, parades, and giant military spectacles even more than he does—Donald Trump.
WHY NORTH KOREA WANTS TRUMP
A North Korean government spokesman, who introduced himself only as “Comrade #1,” explained the decision in an emergency broadcast.
“We have studied the ways of the Great Orange One. His ability to turn press conferences into hour-long speeches about himself, his love for giant military tanks, and his disdain for fake news—these are all qualities we respect in a leader.”
The spokesman continued:
“His leadership style is perfect for us. He bans people he doesn’t like from entering his buildings. We do that too! He loves making his name bigger than anyone else’s. We approve! He once tried to buy Greenland. We admire that level of ambition!”
TRUMP’S REACTION: A DREAM COME TRUE?
Upon hearing the news, Trump immediately held a press conference from his golf cart at Mar-a-Lago.
“Look, folks, I always said I was very, very popular. The most popular. And now, here we are. The North Koreans, they love me. They’re saying, ‘Trump, please, come lead us!’ It’s historic, really. I mean, who else gets a job offer like this? Biden? He can’t even find his way off the stage!”
While his advisors scrambled to explain that accepting the offer might be seen as “a bit problematic,” Trump was already Googling ‘best fast food chains in Pyongyang.’
WHAT WOULD A TRUMP-LED NORTH KOREA LOOK LIKE?
Experts predict some major changes if Trump actually takes the job. Here’s what we can expect:
✅ Rebranding the Country – North Korea will officially become “Trump Korea.” New national slogan? “Make the Hermit Kingdom Great Again.”
✅ Kim Jong Un’s Face Replaced – All statues of Kim will be replaced with giant gold Trump statues holding golf clubs.
✅ A North Korean Trump Tower – Construction of Trump Tower Pyongyang will begin immediately, featuring the world’s first McDonald’s inside a missile factory.
✅ New Mandatory Haircuts – All citizens will be required to adopt the Trump comb-over.
✅ Fox News as State Media – Goodbye, Korean Central Television! The country’s only broadcast will now feature 24/7 Tucker Carlson monologues and reruns of The Apprentice.
INTERNATIONAL REACTIONS
China:
“As long as he stays out of our trade deals, we don’t care.”
South Korea:
“We are… speechless.”
Vladimir Putin:
“This is either the funniest thing I’ve ever heard or the scariest. Maybe both.”
Kim Jong Un:
“I’ll be honest, I just wanted to see if he’d actually say yes.”
GORDON’S OFFICIAL RESPONSE
Gordon, White House Chief Space Advisor and Supreme Overlord of Common Sense, responded with a single statement:
“If Trump actually moves to North Korea, I will personally approve the one-way ticket.”
Reports indicate that Gordon is already ordering a framed copy of this news article to hang in his office, right next to his “Boss of DOGE” sign.
FINAL VERDICT
Will Trump accept the offer and become the first American dictator of North Korea? Or will he realize that Pyongyang doesn’t have golf resorts and quietly decline?
Only time will tell. But one thing is certain—this is the greatest reality TV twist of all time.
