to Match His Complexion – Plates Say “BIG TIT”
In yet another completely believable and totally unnecessary flex, Donald J. Trump has reportedly ordered a custom orange Tesla with a white roof —not for style, not for sustainability, but to match his legendary glow.
“It’s the perfect shade,” Trump boasted. “They call it ‘Sunset Orange,’ but I told Elon it should be renamed ‘Presidential Glow.’ The white roof? That’s to match my highlights—nobody does white like me, folks. Pure. Majestic. Slightly storm-cloud adjacent.”
The Loudspeaker of Greatness
The real showstopper, however, is the custom-installed roof loudspeaker, reportedly inspired by Kim Jong-un’s parade audio system and a particularly noisy ice cream van Trump once chased in 1984.
The Tesla blares Trump’s pre-recorded voice on a loop every 30 seconds, shouting:
“I am the greatest president of all time. Probably in the world. Possibly the universe. Even the moon wants me back in office.”
The car also features:
- A horn that plays “Hail to the Beef”
- Turn signals that yell “Fake news, I’m turning anyway!”
- A voice-activated button that says “Covfefe!” every time he reverses
The License Plate That Turned Heads
Perhaps the most shocking detail isn’t the color, the voice, or the fact he still thinks Tesla runs on “pure American vibes”.
It’s the license plate:
BIG TIT
When questioned, Trump smirked and said:
“It stands for ‘Big Tremendous International Trumpmobile.’ What else would it mean? You people have dirty minds. Sad!”
Insiders reveal that Melania simply raised one eyebrow and went back to her Sudoku.
Elon Musk’s Reaction
Elon Musk, when asked if he approved the customization, responded via cryptic tweet:
“orange.is_real && volume=MAX; #GodHelpUsAll”
He later attempted to cancel the order but was told the car had already been coated in three layers of “Carrot Supreme” and was stuck in a MAGA-themed detailing shop in Palm Beach.
Public Reaction
The car has been spotted driving slowly around Mar-a-Lago with Trump behind the wheel, wearing aviators and eating a Filet-O-Fish, windows down, as his voice booms across the golf course.
One retiree shouted, “I thought it was a mobile tanning salon!”
A confused tourist asked, “Is this a new ride at Disney’s Hall of Presidents?”
A local kid tried to race it with his e-scooter and lost only because he was laughing too hard at the number plate.
Final Thoughts
So now, the world has an orange Tesla with a white roof, screaming presidential slogans, and proudly displaying “BIG TIT” on the back.
And if you think that’s absurd, wait until you hear about his next project: a Trump-branded bullet train that only goes in circles and plays “YMCA” at every stop.
Because in Trump’s America, if you’re not loud, glowing, and mildly inappropriate…
are you even really presidential?
