Dodgy Scams Exclusive: Tesla to Give Away Free Cars in Mexico and Canada to Dodge Trump’s 25% Tariff

In what may be the most creative (and legally questionable) tax loophole in automotive history, Tesla has announced a new global giveaway program—but only in Mexico and Canada.

The plan? Give away Teslas for free across the borders so that when American car importers bring them back to the U.S., they won’t mind paying Trump’s new 25% tariff—because, as Tesla CEO Elon Musk himself put it, “25% of nothing is still nothing, bro.”

How the Scam—Sorry, Promotion—Works

1. All Tesla dealerships in Mexico and Canada will now be branded as “Tesla Generosity Centers.”
2. Anyone in these countries can walk in and get a brand-new Tesla Model Y, Model 3, or even a Cybertruck—completely free.
3. All the lucky “customers” have to do is drive the car across the border into the United States and “accidentally” resell it to U.S. buyers at a totally-not-suspicious discount.
4. Since Tesla technically gave away the cars and didn’t “export” anything, the U.S. government cannot apply tariffs.

Elon Musk’s Justification

In a press conference that may have been held in an underground bunker for legal reasons, Elon Musk defended the strategy, saying:

“Look, it’s simple economics. If we charge $0 for a car, and Trump’s tariff is 25% of $0, that’s still $0. And zero is a great number. It’s like… infinity, but smaller.”

He then flew away in a SpaceX rocket before answering any follow-up questions.

The Chaos That Ensued

As soon as the free Tesla announcement hit the news, the Mexican and Canadian borders turned into a post-apocalyptic scene:

• Tens of thousands of Americans immediately applied for dual citizenship.
• U-Haul reported a record number of one-way rentals from the U.S. to Toronto and Tijuana.
• A group of Texans tried to build a temporary highway bridge just to drive across faster.
• Border agents were left confused as long lines of Teslas attempted to enter the U.S., all driven by people shouting, “I swear this is my personal car!”

Trump’s Response

Upon learning of Musk’s Tesla Giveaway Loophole, former President Donald Trump was furious. In a late-night rant on Truth Social, he declared:

“Fake Elon! TOTAL SCAM! Everyone’s getting Teslas except ME. VERY BAD. Also, I had the idea of giving things away first with Trump Steaks. Unbelievable.”

He then announced his own counterplan: the launch of “Trump Motors,” a company that will only sell diesel-powered golf carts with built-in MAGA flags.

The Aftermath

• Canadian and Mexican Craigslist exploded with Teslas being sold for “$500 and a case of beer.”
• The IRS is currently having a meltdown trying to figure out how to tax “free” vehicles.
• Ford and GM have started giving away free bicycles to stay competitive.

Final Verdict? The Scam Worked.

Despite the chaos, Tesla’s stock soared because, technically, they were still making a profit—off Tesla-branded charging stations, software subscriptions, and self-driving fees.

And as thousands of nearly-free Teslas continue pouring into the U.S., one thing is clear:

Elon Musk may have just pulled off the greatest tariff loophole of all time.