It was an unusually quiet day in the White House. Donald Trump sat in his chair, hands clasped, picking his nose and basking in what he saw as his most significant accomplishment yet. “I’ve done it,” he said aloud to himself, his voice tinged with pride. “Nobody wants to come to the U.S. anymore. I’m a genius.”
Trump had spent years railing against illegal immigration, building walls, and signing executive orders to deport people he referred to as “bad hombres.” But now, things had changed. The number of people trying to cross the U.S. border had dropped to an unprecedented zero. Zero. Not a single undocumented migrant had attempted entry for months.
At first, Trump was baffled. His advisors scrambled to understand the phenomenon. But the truth was soon revealed in international news headlines: “The U.S. Is No Longer the Dream Destination.”
Under Trump’s leadership, the country had grown so divisive, chaotic, and isolated that no one wanted to move there anymore. Even the very people Trump had been trying to deport were voluntarily leaving, often sending thank-you notes along the way. One letter read:
“Dear Mr. President,
Thank you for deporting me. Canada is beautiful this time of year, and people actually smile here. I even got free healthcare. God bless you.”
Another message, from a family in Mexico, was addressed directly to Trump:
“Señor Trump,
Thank you for sending us back home. We didn’t realize how good we had it until you showed us the alternative. Muchas gracias.”
Trump, of course, saw this as a victory. “Nobody’s coming in, and people are even happy to leave,” he told the press at a hastily called briefing. “That’s what we call winning, folks. Big time winning.”
As the months went on, the phenomenon extended beyond immigrants. Tourism to the U.S. plummeted. Major cities that once thrived on international visitors now sat eerily empty. Statues and monuments stood in silence as pigeons replaced tourists. Even international students were choosing other countries for their education, citing instability and constant Twitter meltdowns as their reasons for avoiding the U.S. altogether.
Still, Trump insisted this was all part of his plan. “They said I couldn’t make America great again, and I did. So great, in fact, that we’re now a private club. Exclusive. You have to be invited to want to be here,” he boasted during a rally in a sparsely filled stadium.
The irony wasn’t lost on the rest of the world. Countries once overwhelmed with migrants from the U.S. were now discussing ways to accommodate their sudden popularity. Nations like Germany, Canada, and even countries as small as Costa Rica were experiencing a boom in immigration applications, many citing “unbearable living conditions” in the U.S.
As for Trump, he seemed unbothered. “Nobody’s committing illegal activity anymore because nobody’s here,” he remarked one morning while sipping Diet Coke in the Oval Office. “That’s the beauty of my presidency. It’s peaceful. And quiet.”
And so, America became the country nobody wanted to enter, a strange badge of honor for a president who saw isolation not as a flaw, but as his ultimate triumph.
