Mike Lindell Goes into Hiding Near Bangkok—Finds Inner Peace and Pillow Profits (Sort of)
In a shocking twist nobody saw coming (but probably should have), Mike Lindell, the pillow pitchman-turned-conspiracy theorist, has reportedly gone into hiding near Bangkok, Thailand—and is now running a humble stall at the famous Chatuchak Weekend Market.
His new business?
“My Thai Pillow”
Tagline: “Soft enough to forget everything, even elections.”
From Prime Time to Pillow Time
After years of shouting about beds, ballots, and bamboo fibers on late-night TV, Mike decided he needed a break. Sources close to him (a confused tuk-tuk driver named Somchai) claim Lindell fled to Bangkok with nothing but a suitcase full of memory foam, three MAGA hats, and a laminated copy of the U.S. Constitution.
“I wanted to start fresh,” Mike whispered to a passing tourist, “somewhere I could sell pillows without deep state interference or being tackled by airport security.”
The Market Debut: A Rough Awakening
He set up shop between a fried tarantula stand and a vendor selling knockoff Crocs that squeak when you walk. His stall was an explosion of color, patriotism, and questionably translated signs like:
“AMERICAN PILLOW: YOU SLEEP, YOU DREAM, YOU FREEDOM.”
Mike priced each pillow at $20 USD—or about 700 baht. They were plush, pink, and allegedly infused with “all-natural liberty stuffing.”
His first customer, a smiling Thai woman named Lek, picked one up and handed him a crisp 20 baht note (around 50 cents).
“One please,” she said.
“Ma’am… this is 20… Thai baht,” Mike stuttered, clutching the pillow like a tiny, fuzzy Declaration of Independence.
“Yes, is big price,” she replied proudly, thinking she was getting a luxury import.
Defeated and unsure whether to laugh or cry, Mike took the note and handed over the pillow. The woman walked away hugging it, mumbling, “So fluffy, like hugging capitalist cloud.”
The Great Pillow Panic
Realizing he had accidentally priced his entire inventory at “local market level” rather than “American infomercial level,” Mike scrambled to adjust the signs.
New price tag read:
“Now Only 999 Baht – LIMITED CONSPIRACY EDITION!”
Subtext: “Each pillow comes with a complimentary quote from the Federalist Papers, probably.”
Adjusting to Local Life
Mike has since been spotted:
- Wearing elephant pants and flip-flops
- Drinking coconut smoothies and calling them “freedom juice”
- Shouting “Buy 2, get a constitutionally-supported nap FREE!” to passing tourists
- Offering “election-free” sleep guarantees with every purchase
Despite language barriers and the occasional pillow fight with rival vendors, Mike has started gaining a reputation as “that loud farang with the squishy dreams.”
Final Thoughts
From shouting in courtrooms to sweating in a Bangkok market stall, Mike Lindell has learned one thing:
When life gives you lawsuits, sell pillows.
Especially pink, fluffy ones for 20 baht… whether you meant to or not.
And as he now says at the end of every sale:
“Sleep tight… and don’t let the recounts bite.”
