Opens Presidential Candidacy — Trump Quickly Tops the List
In a remarkable turn of cosmic events, scientists have recently confirmed the existence of K2-18bn, a distant exoplanet located 120 light-years from Earth in the constellation Leo. Even more astonishing, the planet — slightly larger than Earth and believed to host liquid water — is suspected to support primitive forms of life.
As global excitement grows over the discovery, the newly-formed Interstellar Council of K2-18bn has announced that the planet is seeking its first ever President — a symbolic figure to guide its early development and relationships with Earth. The catch? K2-18bn currently has no constitution, no laws, and no established government.
Almost immediately, political observers on Earth noted that Donald Trump, embroiled in multiple legal battles and facing the complexities of a U.S. Constitution he often called “very unfair,” might be an ideal candidate for a system free of such restrictions.
“It’s tremendous, really tremendous,” Trump allegedly told aides after hearing the news. “No rules, no constitution — it’s what I’ve been saying all along. We need less regulation, even in outer space.”
Campaigns are already buzzing with speculation. Sources close to the Trump camp say he is seriously considering running, viewing K2-18bn as the perfect opportunity for a “second term” — without inconvenient obstacles like elections, ethics committees, or judicial oversight.
Political strategists have highlighted key advantages Trump would enjoy on K2-18bn:
- No existing legal framework to limit executive action.
- No impeachment processes.
- No free press (at least not yet).
- No tax authorities asking questions.
Analysts also point out that Trump’s well-known slogan, “Make America Great Again,” could easily be adapted for interstellar leadership: “Make K2-18bn Great from the Start.”
NASA officials, when asked about the possibility of transporting Trump to the planet, diplomatically replied, “Our current technology is focused on unmanned missions, but who knows what might be possible if political will aligns with rocket science.”
Meanwhile, life forms on K2-18bn — described as “slow-moving, jelly-like organisms” — have not issued a formal statement but are reportedly anxious about Earth’s political exports.
In a bold pre-campaign move, Trump floated ideas for K2-18bn’s future:
- Naming its first city “Trumpopolis.”
- Establishing Trump-branded space casinos.
- Requiring citizens (or life blobs) to wear red hats with “Keep K2-18bn First!” slogans.
As Earth watches the unfolding drama, many wonder: will Donald J. Trump become the first intergalactic president, or will even the humble lifeforms of K2-18bn vote to build a wall — this time, around their entire planet?
Only time — and light-years — will tell.
