The Great Durian Fuel Disaster:
In the heart of Bangkok’s top-secret Thai Institute of Alternative Fuels, a group of brilliant (and slightly nose-blind) scientists had just made history. After years of research and thousands of nose plugs, they had finally cracked it – a renewable, high-performance fuel made from durian fruit.
“This will change everything!” declared Dr. Somchai Wattanapong, head of the project. “Forget petrol! Forget electricity! Durian Diesel™ is the future!”
Thailand had been looking for ways to utilize its surplus of durian, the notoriously smelly fruit often described as “a mix of rotten onions, gym socks, and a garbage fire.” After extensive trials, the scientists discovered that the fruit’s pungent compounds could be refined into a combustible, high-energy biofuel. It was cheap, sustainable, and could be produced in massive quantities—as long as you could stand the smell.
First Test Drive: Disaster Strikes
Excitement was at an all-time high when the first durian-powered car hit the roads of Bangkok. A specially modified Toyota TukTuk Turbo 2000 was fueled up with Durian Diesel™, its tailpipe humming with promise (and releasing a faint green vapor). Scientists, government officials, and a crowd of curious bystanders gathered to witness history.
The test driver, a young engineer named Chai, started the engine. Immediately, a wave of overpowering, weaponized stink was unleashed.
“Wow! That’s…strong,” Chai coughed, his eyes watering.
The car sped off, accelerating smoothly and efficiently. The experiment seemed to be a success!
But then came the unexpected side effect.
Behind the durian-powered car, a convoy of motorcyclists was caught in the exhaust cloud. As the thick, cheese-and-onion-scented fumes engulfed them, reactions varied from mild nausea to immediate regret.
One biker, visibly dizzy, swerved into a fruit cart. Another pulled over and vomited into his helmet. One particularly unfortunate rider, after inhaling a deep whiff of durian exhaust, lost consciousness and fell sideways into a canal.
A Nationwide Stink Crisis
As more Durian Diesel™-powered vehicles hit the roads, Thailand faced a growing crisis. Reports of mass nausea outbreaks were recorded all over Bangkok.
- Taxi drivers began demanding hazard pay for following durian-fueled cars.
- Motorcyclists staged protests outside the Ministry of Transport, demanding gas masks.
- Tourists were spotted fainting in tuk-tuks, blaming “an invisible gas attack.”
The government was forced to act quickly. The Ministry of Public Health released a warning:
🚨 “If you are behind a durian-fueled vehicle, hold your breath and pray.” 🚨
Despite its efficiency, Durian Diesel™ was becoming a national emergency. Scientists attempted to solve the issue by infusing the fuel with floral scents, but instead of reducing the odor, it made it smell like durian and lavender—which somehow made things even worse.
The Final Blow
The last straw came when an entire highway was shut down after a truck carrying 10,000 liters of Durian Diesel™ overturned on Bangkok’s expressway. The resulting smell cloud triggered mass panic, with people abandoning their cars and running for their lives.
One driver, still shaking, later told reporters, “I thought the world was ending. I couldn’t breathe. I saw a man dive into a 7-Eleven freezer for safety.”
After a week of nationwide distress, the Thai government issued an emergency ban on Durian Diesel™.
The Aftermath
Though the project was ultimately deemed a public menace, the scientists remained optimistic.
“We may not have solved fuel dependency,” Dr. Wattanapong admitted, “but we have discovered the world’s most effective crowd-control weapon.”
With that, the world’s first (and last) Durian-Powered Cars were sealed away in a top-secret government bunker—only to be unleashed again if Thailand ever needed to win an olfactory war.
The End. 🚗💨🤢
