Trump’s Great Beach Swap: Bondi for Myrtle Beach?
In a move that has baffled world leaders, economists, and casual beachgoers alike, Donald Trump has proposed an unprecedented international land swap: Bondi Beach in Australia for Myrtle Beach in the United States. The former president, known for his love of bold deals, described the exchange as “a fantastic, truly incredible cultural move” that would benefit both nations.
At a hastily arranged press conference at The White House, Trump, flanked by an oversized map of the Pacific Ocean, enthusiastically pitched his idea.
“Look, folks, Bondi Beach is terrific, really terrific, one of the best beaches, people say the best, okay? And Myrtle Beach—also great, beautiful beach, a lot of golf courses, a lot of great people. But, let’s be honest, they could both use a little bit of a shake-up. A little culture swap. We do it with students, why not with beaches?”
Trump envisions a future where Australians visiting Myrtle Beach would be greeted with a hearty “Hello, Sheila!” from enthusiastic South Carolinians, while Australians on Bondi would learn to respond with a matey “G’day, cobber!” from sunburnt American tourists trying out their newfound Aussie lingo.
“The Australians have a lot to teach us—like how to say ‘mate’ properly and how to drink beer like real men,” Trump continued. “And Australians? We’re gonna teach them about burgers, NASCAR, and how to really make a beach commercial. Tremendous opportunities, folks. Tremendous.”
A major part of the swap, according to Trump, would involve a cultural exchange program where Australians would be flown to Myrtle Beach to give hands-on lessons in sheep shearing, boomerang throwing, and surfing. In return, Americans would introduce Australians to the joys of deep-fried Oreos, monster truck rallies, and oversized foam fingers.
While no official government response has been issued from either country, Australians on Bondi Beach appeared unimpressed.
“Mate, we’re not trading Bondi for some random beach in the States,” said one local surfer. “I mean, Myrtle Beach? Sounds like a brand of furniture polish.”
Meanwhile, Myrtle Beach locals seemed equally skeptical.
“Ain’t nobody here want a beach full of kangaroos and blokes in tiny shorts,” said one man, sipping sweet tea. “Though I guess learning to shear sheep could come in handy.”
Despite the skepticism, Trump remained adamant that the deal was not only possible but “a no-brainer.”
“I’ve already spoken to some people in Australia—very powerful people, by the way—who love the idea. We’re talking about one of the greatest swaps in history. Bigger than the Louisiana Purchase. Bigger than the Louisiana Superdome! It’s gonna be huge.”
As negotiations fail to materialize, the world waits to see if Trump’s Bondi-Myrtle vision will remain a curious fantasy or somehow become yet another surreal chapter in global politics.
