It was a sunny Silicon Valley morning when the mysterious company known only as “Y” made headlines with a bold move:

“Y Offers $2 Billion to Buy X from Elon Musk.”

Social media exploded. News anchors were yelling across screens:

• “Is this the end of X?”
• “What even is Y?”
• “Was W not available?”

Elon Musk, of course, responded the only way he knows how—by tweeting a GIF of a goat breakdancing on Mars with the caption:

“Nice try, Y. But X is priceless. Also slightly broken, but priceless.”

Rumors swirled about the identity of “Y.”

Some said it was a rogue splinter group from Alphabet Inc. who wanted revenge after losing their favorite letter. Others believed it was started by a bored billionaire’s cat named Yogurt. And one TikTok theorist claimed it was actually Kanye West under a fake LLC called “Ye Buyz.”

Y’s spokesperson, a man wearing mirrored sunglasses indoors, issued a press release:

“We believe X has potential. Yes, it’s confusing. Yes, no one knows if it’s a social media platform, a spaceship command center, or an AI-powered sandwich generator. But we see something… vaguely monetizable.”

Elon invited Y’s negotiators to a meeting at a Tesla showroom shaped like a falcon wing. Instead of chairs, everyone sat on floating dogecoins.

During the presentation, Y’s lead negotiator, known only as “Barry Y. Yson,” said, “We’re offering $2 billion, cash, or three times that in NFT coupons. We’ll even throw in lifetime Chipotle.”

Elon leaned back, sipped a drink labeled “Synthesized Confidence,” and said, “Why would I sell X? It’s my letter. I rebranded Twitter into it. It means mystery, math, and… also X-Men. Why would I give it to Y?”

Barry replied, “Because no one understands what it does anymore.”

To prove his point, Barry pulled out his phone and opened the app. The feed showed:

• A post from a user named @PigeonOverlord writing a haiku about socks.
• An ad for a Tesla flamethrower toaster.
• A poll asking if time is real.
• A voice note from Elon himself saying “I’m watching you” on loop.

Musk nodded solemnly. “It is confusing. But that’s the point.”

Negotiations stalled when Elon demanded payment in Mars real estate and one gold-plated cyber yak.

Y declined. “We’ve already bought the moon,” Barry said.

The deal fell apart when Musk tweeted:

“Why would I sell X to Y when I can buy Z and skip the whole thing?”

At press time, Y was rumored to be shifting its focus to buying the letter “E,” which Elon has been slowly eliminating from his personal vocabulary anyway.

Meanwhile, X remains in Elon’s hands, the most overvalued and misunderstood letter in the digital alphabet.

And somewhere, quietly sipping a pumpkin spice latte, the letter Q is feeling left out but oddly hopeful.