“Drunken Apple” Bar

White House Ballroom Opens “Drunken Apple” Bar… Planning Permission Still “A Work in Progress”

WASHINGTON, D.C. — In what officials are calling “a bold leap forward in questionable decision-making,” a new bar named The Drunken Apple has reportedly opened inside the ballroom of the White House — despite what insiders describe as “a slight absence of full planning permission.”

Sources confirm the ballroom has been hastily transformed with:

• A polished oak dance floor
• Neon apple-shaped signs
• A mechanical bull labelled “Executive Decision”

and a drinks menu featuring cocktails such as “The Executive Order,” “Fake News Fizz,” and “The Capitol Cooler.”

🍏 Saturday Night: Linedancing with the President

The real attraction, however, is the newly announced weekly event:

“Saturday Night Presidential Linedancing” — Hosted by Donald Trump

Eyewitnesses describe Trump enthusiastically demonstrating moves he refers to as:

• “The Big Win Shuffle”
• “The Tremendous Turn”
• “The Very Legal Slide”

“I’ve always said I’m one of the best dancers,” Trump reportedly told attendees. “People come up to me all the time — strong dancers, tough dancers — they say, ‘Sir, nobody linedances like you.’”

🚧 Planning Permission? “Details, Details…”

When questioned about the legality of the venue, a spokesperson responded:

“We prefer to think of this as pre-approved enthusiasm.”

Local planning officials confirmed that:

• No formal application has been submitted
• Noise complaints have already been filed
• Someone has attempted to register the ballroom as a “rural barn venue”

Despite this, bookings are reportedly full for the next three months.

🍻 Public Reaction

Reactions from visitors have been mixed:

• “I came for a tour and ended up doing the hokey-cokey with a senator.”
• “I’m not sure this is constitutional, but it’s definitely entertaining.”
• “The margarita was strong… possibly legally too strong.”

🕺 Future Expansion Plans

Rumours suggest Phase Two could include:

• A rooftop karaoke lounge called “The Oval Crooner”
• A souvenir shop selling “Make Dancing Great Again” boots
• A VIP section known only as “The Situation Room… But Louder”

At press time, the planning office had issued a formal notice requesting “clarification on literally everything,” while the dance floor remained fully booked for Saturday night.