Trump’s Premium Reflecting Pool Plan Splashes Into Trouble

WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Donald Trump has unveiled what he described as “the greatest reflecting pool in history,” announcing that the base will be painted “the most beautiful blue you’ve ever seen” before being filled entirely with premium bottled Evian water.

Speaking to reporters, Trump insisted that ordinary water simply wasn’t good enough.

“People deserve luxury reflections. When they look into this pool, they’ll see themselves looking absolutely fantastic. Nobody reflects better than me.”

Officials estimate that filling the pool with imported bottled water could cost millions of dollars, but Trump reportedly dismissed concerns.

“It’s expensive, yes. But quality isn’t cheap. This isn’t just a reflecting pool anymore—it’s a luxury hydration experience.”

The administration has already begun interviewing security guards after fears emerged that members of the public might arrive carrying buckets, watering cans, wheelie bins and even inflatable paddling pools to take home supplies of the famous water.

One White House aide admitted that a sign is being considered reading:

“Please admire the water. Do not drink the water. Do not bucket the water. Do not bottle the water. Do not borrow the water.”

A prototype security system reportedly includes lifeguards armed with giant corks, water-level sensors and specially trained “Bucket Detection Officers” whose sole responsibility will be spotting anyone approaching the pool while whistling innocently with a suspicious-looking container.

Tourists have already begun asking whether they will be allowed to refill reusable bottles.

The official answer was immediate.

“No.”

Asked whether visitors could at least dip a teabag into the pool, officials replied, “Only if it’s a luxury teabag.”

Meanwhile, environmental campaigners questioned whether shipping thousands of bottles of water simply to pour them into a decorative pool was really necessary.

Trump disagreed.

“It’s Evian. People know quality when they see it. It’s the classiest pool ever built. Some people have fountains. I have bottled water.”

The White House has reportedly begun work on the next phase of the project—a gold-plated vending machine beside the pool selling empty souvenir buckets for $199.99 each, complete with a certificate confirming they once stood within sight of the world’s most luxurious reflecting pool.

At the time of publication, officials confirmed the water level had mysteriously dropped by three inches after a tour bus from Florida arrived carrying 47 empty camping containers and a man insisting he was “just collecting a little sample for scientific purposes.”